From the recording Christmas in the City (Digital 8-Track)
Lyrics
I eat my greens and healthy things
Go easy on the sweets
I go for runs and think they’re fun
And live life healthily
But a monster lurks inside of me
That awakens once a year
With jingle bells and sung nöels
And all that Christmas cheer...
It’s a season of giving, a season of getting
A season of eating and then of regretting
Ever year I swear it will be different
And every year it happens the same
By the end of the meal I’m a glutton
I can’t even remember my name
When they pass the pudding, I loosen up my belt
For my personal Christmas obesity epidemic
It’s useful to read up on portions and size
And remember each mouthful goes straight to your thighs
It’s not that I don’t do my research
I know every calorie count
But I’m awfully good at forgetting
One more issue I have to surmount
All I can do is enjoy myself when you hand me that heaping full plate
For my personal Christmas obesity epidemic
Easter eggs or birthday cakes – I’m fine
But show me a Christmas pudding and I lose my mind
I’ve planned out my diet, I’m cutting out starch
I’m aware that it prob’ly will take me till March
A Christmas has got to have crackers
And mince pies and mulled wine and such
My favourite part is the bounty
I just wish that it wasn’t so much
But when I see that twenty-pound turkey, my eyes light up like a kid
For my personal Christmas obesity epidemic
Easter eggs or birthday cakes – I’m fine
But show me a Christmas pudding and I lose my mind…
For a sticky toffee, bread and butter, bakewell, apple, strudel, trifle,
Shortbread, custard, éclair, clotted, eton, chocolate, teacake, crumble - Aaah!
I can’t regret a morsel even though I probably should
From my personal Christmas obesity epidemic!
(Somebody get me a spoon!)